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C'est ma vie!

travellers' unlimited
(the tired and the sore.)

everything changes /10:07 AM

when i've came back from hokkaido and europe
that's when reality really hit me and tell me that everything had changed

my cousin passed away during our hokkaido trip
and all that remain of him is his picture on the tablet
all his belongings kinda ceased to exist now
and all that i could recall is his voice when he usually talks
his behaviour and his smirky laughter
his sense of humour
his well-mannered self
there isn't much that i can complain about this cousin of mine
maybe besides the childhood memory of him ganging up with my sis and bullying me for what a spoilt brat i am, all that i remember of him is a good-natured cousin who's always there whenever we need help
it's regretful that our frequencies for meet-ups decreased from the usual once a week to once a month and now once every occasion
and there isn't much occasion to talk about as well
but whenever he's here we had fun catching up
at least that's what i think
i hope he had his share of fun as well
i must admit my house isn't that exciting as compared to all the stuffs he had at home

i miss him
and i still do even now

it hurts that i'm not able to do much for this cousin of mine
i'm not even sure if i really understand him well enough
as compared to his friends

the music we both like
still melts my heart whenever it's playing in my ipod
and now, it reminds me of him
tears don't pour down that much now
but they're still piling up at the brim
i won't cry
for that won't bring my dearest cousin back
i'll live my life to the fullest
and perhaps live for his sake too
for the things that he's passionate about and no longer has a chance to do so
i'll try to be passionate
for his family that's he's unable to care for now
i'll care
as often as i could
and offer them comfort in some ways
i hope i'll be able to alleviate their pain

why is it that he has to go so early?
no point talking about it since nothing i do can bring him back now
i'll just live my life passionately and not think about wasting it away


everything really changes since the holidays
my family members are getting segregated as well
and i couldn't help feeling irritated everytime they mention that they're going out, going genting or some other places that involved gambling
it's irritating to see how they fight over little things in life
it's irritating that i'm actually so irritated by this and am unable to voice out except for pulling a long face in front of them
i wanted to be appreciative
but it's really hard to do so in front of them

has my perspective towards life changes?
i wonder

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all about Lee Hua here.


Singapore
NUS
Architecture
tennis
nature
monotone


avid dog lover
wants to backpack around the globe







=)

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